We pride ourselves on being the generation that invented sex, drugs and rock and roll, but not everyone was an active participant. Some watched from the sidelines while others have steamy memories that still make them all hot and bothered. Lets's see how you score.
1. The most exciting place you've ever had sex was:
a) on a beach under the stars.
b) in a movie theater.
c) in an elevator.
d) in the produce aisle of Trader Joe's.
2. Your favorite sexual position is:
a) illegal in 34 states.
b) requires a trained Chihuahua.
c) inspired by Cirque de Soleil.
c) Chapter 39 of "Fifty Shades of Grey."
3. When you want to get in the mood, you:
a) rub your body with hot, scented oil.
b) light candles.
c) drink a large glass of wine.
d) watch the Food Channel.
4. Your partner knows when you orgasm because you:
a) sing Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus."
b) scream so loud a SWAT team shows up at your front door.
c) pass out.
d) post it on Facebook.
5. You have a rich fantasy life that includes:
a) role-playing.
b) sex toys.
c) several players on the Golden State Warriors.
d) running naked through the Saks Shoe Dept.
6. Your favorite makeout music is:
a) Tony Bennett.
b) Marvin Gaye.
c) white noise.
d) the theme from "Happy Days."
7. You think about sex:
a) every two minutes.
b) during downward dog.
c) whenever you get high.
d) whenever your hands are free.
8. You've always been curious about:
a) nude beaches.
b) light bondage.
c) threesomes.
d) variable annuities.
9. You draw the line at:
a) rough sex.
b) cross-dressing.
c) swinging.
d) anything involving stuffed animals and plush toys.
10. The sexiest thing about you is:
a) your smile.
b) your wax job.
c) that thing you do with your tongue.
d) long gone.
11. Your favorite sex toy is:
a) battery-operated.
b) missing in action.
c) inflatable.
d) your right hand.
12. Foods you find erotic include:
a) hot fudge and whipped cream.
b) strawberries.
c) the eggplant emoji.
d) the takeout menu at Chipotle.
13. The first question you ask a new bed partner is:
a) Do you have your own handcuffs or should I bring mine?
b) What's the expiration date on your Viagra?
c) Do you mind if my ex joins us?
d) Have you ever considered shopping as foreplay?
14. The first time you had sex, you were:
a) in love.
b) nervous.
c) stoned.
d) alone.
15. After sex, you:
a) sleep.
b) smoke.
c) eat a double cheeseburger.
d) change your phone number.
16. When you have sexual problems, you seek advice from:
a) a professional sex counselor.
b) your partner.
c) a fortune cookie.
d) Stormy Daniels.
17. Nothing turns you on like:
a) a full-body massage.
b) a romantic dinner by candlelight.
c) sexy lingerie.
d) QVC.
18. If your body had a sign, it would say:
a) "Slippery when wet."
b) "Objects are smaller than they appear in the mirror."
c) "Do not bend, fold or spindle."
d) "If found, please return to Brad Pitt."
19. Sex should last:
a) until both parties orgasm.
b) as long as an episode of "Law & Order."
c) as long as it takes to mentally redecorate the living room.
d) until the neighbors bang on the wall.
20. My favorite time to have sex is:
a) in the morning.
b) in the afternoon.
c) during Stephen Colbert's monologue.
d) right after I finish reading this silly quiz.
We pride ourselves on being the generation that invented sex, drugs and rock and roll, but not everyone was an active participant. Some watched from the sidelines while others have steamy memories that still make them all hot and bothered. Lets's see how you score.
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